Author Archives: conrad

Mole Children

This story is potentially an argument against unemployment stimulus payments, as apparently some people have way too much time on their hands. These people think that New York City’s Central Park is currently teeming with mole children who had been … Continue reading

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It’s just one thing after another

“The hurricane people are having anxiety attacks,” I told my wife recently. “Why?” “In the event of an evacuation, they can’t cram everyone into the dome like they’re used to doing.” Pause. “Hurricane season is a long way off,” she … Continue reading

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Flattening the curve…

…does not necessarily mean that the area under the curve diminishes. Before getting out of bed the other morning, I asked CVH (Masters, Public Health) about corona lockdowns.  There won’t be a vaccine for at least a year.  Consequently, until … Continue reading

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Marriage Secrets

I spoke with the neighbor across the street the other night (from an appropriate distance).  She asked how CVH and I were getting along. “Pretty well,” I said.  “Frankly, I am pleasantly surprised.  I wasn’t sure what was going to … Continue reading

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Hosanna

CVH’s favorite ecclesiastical holiday is Palm Sunday.  She particularly enjoys waving the palm frond.  Of course, going to church was not a option this year.  So I remembered how we made newspaper trees as little kids and made her a … Continue reading

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Zoonotic

Corona has been found in a zoo tiger. I told CVH we’re going to have to pull an Anne Frank and hide our cats in the attic, lest the neighbors surround our house and demand that we turn them over … Continue reading

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Walking the High Wire

Here I am, in my golden years, supposedly more prudent and sensible. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t drive fast and I always wear my seat belt.  I take my (doctor-prescribed) medicines.  I meditate and exercise regularly.  I … Continue reading

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Tell Laura I Love Her

HOSPITALS WEIGH DO-NOT-RESUSCITATE POLICY FOR CORONAVIRUS PATIENTS: The Washington Post recently reported that Northwestern Memorial Hospital is among medical centers considering a do-not-resuscitate policy for COVID-19 patients, “regardless of the wishes of the patient or their family members.”

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Age Appropriate

CVH tells me that today’s coronavirus government briefing will start with some age-appropriate videos. First they’ll have a video for small children, explaining what’s going on with this virus situation. Then there will be a video for older kids,” she … Continue reading

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Shoot the dog!

Tonight, CVH wanted to watch The Thing (1982 Carpenter version). As you may recall, the story is about a group of men essentially on lockdown. They fail to practice appropriate social distancing, and as a consequence, risk spreading a contagion … Continue reading

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