Category Archives: The Modern Condition

The welcome board at the gym today read: Congratulations! You’re doing laps while the others are taking naps! I’m not sure that message has the intended consequence.

It’s National Dental Hygienist Week, which happened to coincide with my regular checkup. After the usual digging and scraping came the standard question, “What flavor do you want today?  Orange, mint, or strawberry?”, none of which struck me as appealing. … Continue reading →

Like a lot of people, we have one of those home phones that announces the caller id when the phone rings.  Like a lot of people, we get robocalls. “CANCER! SOCK!” “POLICE! BENIFF!” “UNASSIGNED!” “ZERO!” and so on. Today the … Continue reading →

Springtime, and I go to the store to get a new air filter and spark plug for the old lawnmower.  As I’m heading out to the shed, CVH asks what I’m doing. “I need to gap the new spark plug … Continue reading →

Today I noticed that my dental floss has an expiration date stamped on the package.  I mean, really – if a Twinkie can last thirty years, why can’t my floss last two?

A while back, the paper towel people came up with a great idea: pick-a-size.  They started perforating their sheets at half size.  This, I felt, was a great boon to us paper towel users.  Almost always, unless the dog has … Continue reading →

The new toilet finally arrived.  The ladies are pleased. And a nice thing is that it’s “chair height” – that extra inch and three-quarters is surprisingly comfortable. Especially at our age. A big plumber showed up and took out the … Continue reading →

I gave up looking for my screwdriver bits and just bought a set at our neighborhood Harbor Freight (our neighborhood has all the conveniences, if nothing else). Today I got a call from Lowe’s that my new commode had arrived … Continue reading →