Category Archives: The Modern Condition

Mixed signals?

Posted on 15 March 2019 by conrad reynolds

The welcome board at the gym today read: Congratulations! You’re doing laps while the others are taking naps! I’m not sure that message has the intended consequence.

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Off-menu Specials at the Dentist

Posted on 17 April 2018 by conrad reynolds

It’s National Dental Hygienist Week, which happened to coincide with my regular checkup. After the usual digging and scraping came the standard question, “What flavor do you want today?  Orange, mint, or strawberry?”, none of which struck me as appealing. … Continue reading →

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Opportunity Calls

Posted on 19 April 2017 by conrad reynolds

Like a lot of people, we have one of those home phones that announces the caller id when the phone rings.  Like a lot of people, we get robocalls. “CANCER! SOCK!” “POLICE! BENIFF!” “UNASSIGNED!” “ZERO!” and so on. Today the … Continue reading →

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And Get Off My Lawn!

Posted on 2 April 2017 by conrad reynolds

Springtime, and I go to the store to get a new air filter and spark plug for the old lawnmower.  As I’m heading out to the shed, CVH asks what I’m doing. “I need to gap the new spark plug … Continue reading →

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You’ve got to be kidding

Posted on 1 April 2017 by conrad reynolds

Today I noticed that my dental floss has an expiration date stamped on the package.  I mean, really – if a Twinkie can last thirty years, why can’t my floss last two?

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Vance Packard is alive and well

Posted on 20 February 2017 by conrad reynolds

A while back, the paper towel people came up with a great idea: pick-a-size.  They started perforating their sheets at half size.  This, I felt, was a great boon to us paper towel users.  Almost always, unless the dog has … Continue reading →

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Home renovations – Part 6

Posted on 18 October 2016 by conrad reynolds

The new toilet finally arrived.  The ladies are pleased. And a nice thing is that it’s “chair height” – that extra inch and three-quarters is surprisingly comfortable. Especially at our age. A big plumber showed up and took out the … Continue reading →

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Home Renovations – Part 5

Posted on 10 October 2016 by conrad reynolds

I gave up looking for my screwdriver bits and just bought a set at our neighborhood Harbor Freight (our neighborhood has all the conveniences, if nothing else). Today I got a call from Lowe’s that my new commode had arrived … Continue reading →

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Home renovations – Part 4

Posted on 4 October 2016 by conrad reynolds

By now, “renovations” no longer seems to be the right word to use.  “Repair” is closer to the mark. We picked out our new toilet.  I was going to have a handyman buddy pick it up and install it with … Continue reading →

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Home renovations – Part 3

Posted on 23 September 2016 by conrad reynolds

I am on Lowe’s watch list. Either they think I am becoming a great customer or I’m planning a major caper. Two days after the flooring people finally “finished” the installation (including knocking a huge hole in our entertainment cabinet … Continue reading →

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