The customer is always right, but that doesn’t mean we have to do something about it

A real muffaleta

A real muffaleta

A beautiful spring day today!  The sun was shining so bright that you got hungry just looking out the window.  And as fortune would have it, a local restaurant, Roux, was having their New Orleans festival today.  Their tagline is We Are New Orleans.

I regret to report that They Are Not New Orleans.

We were seated in the dining room, which, like so many restaurants in Louisville, was converted from an old residential house.  There were beads and masks on the table, a cheesy touch.  But the staff were very pleasant and friendly, and there was, as promised, a jazz trio.  CVH was excited by all the authentic-sounding items on the menu.  She and her mom finally decided to share the catfish coubillon, charbroiled oysters, and a side of potatoes.  “And then beignets for dessert,” she declared.  I ordered the muffaletta.

A dark cloud passed briefly over our table as the waitress placed a bottle of Crystal hot sauce down.  Now, Crystal is not inauthentic (it comes from Metarie); but it is a blend of whatever they can get on the market, such as off-test Tabasco.  In hindsight, this was our first sign that things were not going to go as planned.

After a bit of a wait, the coubillon came out.  The egg was nicely done, and the okra were delicious.  But the raison d’être of catfish coubillon is the catfish.  This catfish had been thinly shaved and then deep fried.  It came out like a catfish-flavored chip instead of catfish.

The potatoes were disappointing, also.  Perhaps we just misread the menu, but we were expecting New Orleans style boiled potatoes.  What we received were rather pedestrian, with none of the standard seasoning.

The charbroiled oysters were not charbroiled at all, but appeared to have merely been placed under a broiler or salamander.

Then the “muffaletta” showed up.  It consisted of a roll of absolutely top-notch bread and filled with quality meats.  However, a ham sandwich does not a muffaletta make.  It requires prodigious amounts of New Orleans Gambino’s olive salad.  This sandwich had about a teaspoon of black olive tapenade.  I mentioned to the waitress that the sandwich was lacking in olive salad, and could I please have a side order of same.  “Yes,” she replied, and went off to the kitchen.  Alas, the response from the kitchen was No.

The muffaletta did come with a bag of Zapp’s chips, which was the most authentic part of the whole meal.

By this point, CVH ruled out ordering any beignets, fearful of what might be delivered.

She stopped at Lotsa Pasta that afternoon, where they make their own muffaletta olive salad, and got some.  We added it to the sandwich for dinner, and it was good.

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24 Hours in…Indy

Monument-CircleCVH is still, after all these years, a rabid Houston Rockets basketball fan.  She watches all the games on TV.

So when a business associate and all-around good guy mentioned to me that he had season tickets to the Pacers and would be happy to host us for the Pacers-Rockets game, CVH marked it on her calendar in big red letters.  Plus I was going to throw it in the basket of twenty-fifth anniversary credits that I’m trying to build up this year.

Monday 0900: Getting ready to leave.  Overnight bags are packed and in the car.  A  friend of CVH, who lives on the Indiana side of the river, has suggested avoiding the bridge construction by taking the bypass all the way around town.  Yes, I’m thinking, that would certainly avoid construction, but would add a lot of miles to the journey.  Checking the on-line traffic maps and cameras, I see that traffic through downtown is unusually light today.  Extremely light for a Monday, in fact.  So I decide we’ll just take the direct route.

Sure enough, we zip right downtown, over the bridge, and come to a screeching halt in Indiana.  After driving for what seems like a hour, I believe I can still see the “Welcome to Kentucky” sign in my rear-view mirror.  Eventually, though, after over an hour and a half, we are out of construction and sail uneventfully into downtown Indianapolis.

Since I lived there as a small boy, the city has built two large professional ball stadiums on the near south side of downtown, and this has dramatically transformed that area from an old rail/warehouse district into an hotel and entertainment hub.  Quite amazing.  Maybe these tax breaks for arenas really do pay off.  Maybe.

Monday 1150: We need lunch, so we head down the street to Haveli, a lunch buffet.  It was hot, ready and we were hungry.  $7.99.  A good value.  Not the best Indian food, but for $7.99 a good value.

513Thus fortified, it’s now time for a little walking around.  We visited the Arts Garden, reminiscent of the Winter Garden we saw in Chicago.

IMG_0444We toured the State House, just as I did when I was in fourth grade.  There were a lot of fourth graders there.  Here CVH poses.

IMG_0445And we saw the Indiana House of Representatives chamber, with its huge 100 light chandelier (one light for each representative).

We stop at the Indiana State Museum gift shop to get a souvenir for Mama (a ball point pen that looks like a cardinal bird, which is the state bird of both Indiana and Kentucky).

Monday 1500:  Back to the Hampton Inn for a nap.

Monday 1730: We meet our hosts, Greg and Jerry, at the Weber Grill restaurant.  As you might guess, they grill everything over giant Weber grills.  The restaurant is decorated in retro 1966 style (I loved it); you could imagine having a steak there before the Sinatra show.

Monday 1845: Time to head to the stadium, a short walk away.  As we near the entrance Greg turns and asks if anyone has a knife on them.

“Yes,” I said.

“Are you kidding?”

“No, I always carry one.”

“You’re such a boy scout,” CVH interjected.

“OK, just palm it in one hand, show your keys in the other, and hold both arms up as you are scanned,” Greg advised.  I palmed my knife behind my ticket and there was indeed no problem.  Apparently Greg has dealt with this issue before.

The fieldhouse is rather unremarkable on the outside, but entering it was like walking into the middle of a three ring circus.  There was so much light and color and noise and activity I became disoriented.  There were bands playing and people dancing and pictures being taken and all sorts of food and drink being sold.  I didn’t have time to take any of this in and get my bearings because we were a little late; I got caught on the stairwell when the Star Spangled Banner started, but made it to my seat just in time for tip-off.

The seats were very nice, much more comfortable than the ones in the Houston basketball arena, and we had a great view.  CVH was beside herself.  The Rockets led the entire game, but the end was close enough that it was a real contest.  It was more interesting than I thought it was going to be (if a little repetitive); the live environment definitely enhances the experience.

Monday 2200: Game over.  Say goodbye to Greg and Jerry.  Walk to hotel.  Fall asleep.

Tuesday 0800: Wake up.  Get washed and dressed.  Run down the stairs to get a newspaper for CVH.  Back up the stairs to deliver the paper and then back down to the breakfast room for eggs and corn flakes.  Back up to room to read Dalai Lama while waiting on CVH.  0915: Back to breakfast room, this time with CVH for second breakfast course.

Tuesday 0945: Check out of hotel.  Drive down the street to Shapiro’s.  Why Shapiro’s?  Well, about this time last year we met with our accountant to review our tax returns.  After going over a number of items, he asked me if I had any more questions.  Taking note of his apparent ethic background, I said “Yes. Where can you get a good pastrami in this town?”

“You can’t.  The nearest place is Shapiro’s, in Indianapolis.”

“Shapiro’s!  They’re still around?  I remember getting stuff there when I was a little boy for special occasions.”

So I had to take CVH there.  We walked in, and most of the steam table items were already out, so it smelled magical.  They don’t have the cheapest items in town there, but you’ll have great trouble finding any higher quality.  We ordered a couple of stuffed cabbage rolls, some peppered beef, a couple of slices of coconut cream pie, a bagel, and two chocolate eclairs.  The poor fellow behind the deli counter, however, was not having a good day and could not get our order rung up properly to save himself.  He eventually closed the ticket and quoted me a price.  He showed me the receipt and said don’t worry about it not matching, I credited you for where I overcharged, and you really came out ahead.  He was a big guy and I didn’t want to start any trouble (or get him into trouble) and the price he quoted seemed reasonable, so I just paid it.  On the way out I mentioned that we were from Louisville, and he assured me that we couldn’t get anything this good in Louisville.  It wasn’t until we got back home and unpacked the bag that he loaded for us that we discovered that his price was much more than reasonable.  If they don’t get that guy off the register, they may be out of business by next week.

Tuesday 1130: This time I take the bypass, avoid all construction, and we’re home in less than two hours.

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A boy can dream, can’t he?

winter.roseWe still have a lot of snow on the ground, but we’d like to think that spring is just around the corner anyway.  I bought this small rose bush at Kroger today for two dollars; a small price for a fantasy, don’t you think?

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The Terminator was programmed in Assembler

terminator.asmSubtitle: Conway’s Game of Life in IBM Assembler

Assembly language is what you saw from Arnold’s viewpoint in The Terminator (the first movie).   I have implemented Conway’s Game of Life in IBM 390 (z/OS) assembler. (For an explanation of the game and a wonderful google easter egg, google “conway’s game of life.)

I was quite the assembler programmer back in the day, and enjoyed doing it.  But this is the first IBM assembler program that I have written since 1980.  It wasn’t easy if you didn’t have access to a mainframe, and they kept those accounts well locked down.

However, you don’t need a million dollar mainframe anymore to write mainframe programs; you can download the “portable 390 mainframe” for free. (It never ceases to amaze me what people will do and then give away for nothing.)  I remember asking management to upgrade to the latest version of assembler back in 1979 and being told that it was thousands of dollars and that was too expensive.  Now I run it on my laptop.  This sort of thing almost makes my head explode.

Here’s a link to a zip file with the code.  You have to swear to me that you do not work for SkyNet. CONWAY

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One day you wake up and look in the mirror

I had the day off today, and CVH told me to go to the grocery store.  I waited until about 9:30, figuring traffic and crowds would be at a minimum then.

Got to the Kroger, and holy smoke!  The place was crawling with old retired people.

How did that happen?

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Just when you think you’ve seen it all

CVH and I went to our local Kroger today to pick up some groceries.  As we went down one aisle, we passed the magazine display.  They had easily over a hundred different magazines for sale.  CVH is a big NBA fan, and decided to look for a basketball magazine.  They didn’t have one, not even Sports Illustrated.

They did, however, have Mac and Cheese magazine.  Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.  CVH said that she had no response to that.

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The Amazing Ameche

picturephoneadAbout fifty years ago, I made my first picturephone call.  My grandmother took me to the Prudential building in downtown Chicago, where Bell had a demo system set up. (You can see a picture of what the Pru looked like then.)  I stood in a line until I was able to speak with another kid who had stood in a similar line in New York.  There was no cost for this – they could hardly charge you for the privilege of speaking to a stranger for sixty seconds – but if you wanted to, you could arrange your own private call for the astronomical price of nine dollars a minute, plus tax (equivalent to about sixty-eight dollars a minute today).

Thanksgiving morning we spoke with and saw our son in Afghanistan from the comfort of our own home using Viber.  The picture broke up a few times, but hey, it was all the way to Afghanistan.  It was pretty amazing, although if I had been charged two thousand dollars for the call then I would not have thought it that amazing, rather about what I would expect for $2000.  The amazing thing is that I was able to make the call and it was already included in my monthly phone bill.

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Bernheim Fall Festival

ColorFest banner

Each year, the Bernheim Forest has a Fall Festival called “ColorFest”, and CVH dragged me down there this year.  Once I got there, I had a wonderful time.  When you live here in the Midwest, and the cold grey spectre of Winter begins to appear on your time horizon, everybody starts running around like crazy to take advantage of the last few weekends of decent weather before we are locked up for six months.  Today was no exception to this.

The trees were all turning color, so we drove around and looked at them first, and then went into the fair area.  There was a big vegetable and herb garden (I was so jealous), a pumpkin-flingers (similar to what we called in college “funnelators”), food vendors (I had a fancy hot dog; CVH had the lobster bisque), an African drum band (check out Bolokada Conde on your favorite music service – this guy is the real deal!), the honeybee people, the purple martin people, antique tractors, a mud pie kitchen (quite nice, actually), salamanders, turtles, snakes, flax spinners, and a number of booths and vendors, including one with a couple of alpacas.  I got one of Bolokada’s CDs and this alpaca headband:

snapshot1

 

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Bright Lights, Big City

Spent the last week in Dallas, visiting and house-sitting for a friend in the hospital.  Although not as big as Houston or Chicago, it certainly qualifies as a Big City, especially if it’s been a long time since you’ve been in the Big City.  After several trips to the Louisville airport, the size of DFW is striking, as is the miles and miles of freeways and tollways and light rail running every which way.  I went to the HEB Central Market and The Container Store and some fan-cy highfalutin’ pricey Dallas shops the kind of which we just don’t have here in Louisville.  It was almost as if I’d become somebody from a Mellencamp lyric.

The house was very nice, and although the neighborhood was being built up at a rapid pace – there was an eight to ten thousand square foot mansion across the street – it was still kind of out in the woods (I could hear coyotes nearby at night).  There were lots of lovely plants in the front:

plants.sm

And horses in the back yard:

horses.sm

I got to ride into downtown Dallas for the first time in years – the parts down by the river looked very familiar, but the skyscrapers have grown out like a line of giant marching ants from there.  The Reunion “dandelion” still sticks out, and I recalled the time my cousin (who worked for IBM) took me there for a drink when I was a young man.  I don’t know how high up in the corporate hierarchy he was; fairly high, I think.   I remember that he wore a really nice suit.

And of course, it was sunnier and warmer than it is in Kentucky this time of year, so that was nice, too.

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Autumn for Cats

cat.windowIt’s autumn, the windows are open, and the cats are eating it up.

Fresh air, sunbeam, altitude – according to my cat, it just doesn’t get any better.

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